The Power of a Badge.....

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He
tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown
drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he
points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority
of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket,
he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this
badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No
questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you
understand? "

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA
officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis
bull......

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems
likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is
clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells
at the top of his lungs.....

" Your badge.. Show him your BADGE ! "

Nice one Eric!

Love it, ok here's mine.

A man goes into a bar and sees a pile of cash on a table beneath a big sign that reads "$2,000 Cash Prize! See bartender for details."

Keeping one eye on the stack of money, the man goes over and asks the bartender what he has to do to win the prize.

"You have to do three things and its all yours," the bartender says.

"Just three things?" the guy asks, rubbing his hands now and imagining about walking out of the bar $2,000 richer.

"What are the three things?"

"Well," the bartender says, "first you have to go over to that 200-pound bouncer and knock him out..."

"After that, I've got a mean-tempered pitbull in the backroom who needs a tooth pulled..."

"Then you have to go and make love to the 80-year-old lady who lives upstairs."

"No problem," the guy says. He struts over to the bouncer and says, "Hey pal your shoelace is untied."

When the bouncer looks down at his shoes, the man flattens him with a single, solid uppercut.

Next he heads to the back room where the pitbull is housed.

The bartender can hear a tremendous commotion from the back room it sounds like the pitbull has gone crazy.

After a few minutes the man emerges from the backroom, quite bloody and cut up and breathing heavily.

"Okay," he says, "where's the old broad that needs her tooth pulled??"

LMAO!!!

YIKES! Or should I say YUCK!