This was on the KTMtalk forum...
from "Wife Swap" Moto-Mom, Stephanie Starling
Well, as interesting and sometimes humorous as all of these posts have been ... I just wanted to let everyone know some things are not always as they appear. In some cases, things were worse than what you saw (not everything made the show) and sometimes they were so far off track that we even had to piece things together to figure out where some of them came from.
First let me tell you - the show was an adventure. We will be taking the time to fill everyone in on Justin's web site as to what really happened and why. It will take a little time for every family member to tell their story - and hopefully by that time, you'll be so completely bored with the subject of Wife Swap - you won't even want to hear the "true untold story".
First for those of you that are concerned about Samantha - thanks! She hasn't been thrilled with being portrayed as the poor neglected child. When you see her, ask her. Her sitting alone up by one of our shops was "staged", yes, I said "staged". Are you cringing yet? She is thrilled about her photography being focused on and her new T-shirt line she's been trying to start for years. By the way, John bought her the camera last year to help her with her passion. Yes, we support her dream of having her own clothing line. We have always thought it was awesome. She is really, really a great young lady. She will also be the first to tell you she is really embarrassed at how she was portrayed.
Second, for those of you that know Justin, you know he's feisty, but he's anything but a couch potato. The kid loves to ride a motorcycle. It's something he loves, not us - we just support his dream. Yes, I said HIS dream. I really can't imagine any parent in their right mind actually selecting this sport for their kid. I remember the words coming out of Justin's mouth around age 6 ... hey dad, will you take me to race? I may nag him about picking up his clothes and cleaning his room, but I never have to beg him to practice. He was actually sitting in full gear at 7:00am a few days ago, waiting to get on his bike. Yes, he is healed. He actually suffered his injuries a month before we started filming, so none of us were cavalier in our attitudes about them, it was just part of something that had happened. He hasn't been hurt in over 3 years which is amazing with all the time he spends riding - ask him, not us. His skateboarding buds seem to spend more time in casts then Justin ever has, and it's still just a thing to their parents too. I'm also surprised that some actually believe that I could have prevented his injuries -- if anyone can explain that to me and every other parent whose child suffers any injury doing anything it would be much appreciated. In fact, my mother would have also liked to have that info also, I was a clutz on those ever dangerous roller skates. Justin also did not say the "f" word as much reported, but there was a convenient bleep. Justin didn't say "argh" which was in print ... Justin didn't say a lot of things, but got credit for most. Is he an angel, nah, but he's not the jerk portrayed.
Now for the "GO BIG" thing - one of my favorites. Laura is extremely caustic in her behaviour (I learned that from her family - they are scared to death to upset the harmony in the Goddesses domain). The director(s) spend a lot of time trying to get the moms riled up and then confront the dads. Laura ambushed John over and over about everything - it's the same thing they tried to get me to do at the other household. I just refused to give in and never did it. Laura apparantly berated John, at the directors request for over 15 minutes while John just stood there and listened. This came from others in the shop at the time that actually filled in the gaps. The go big thing came from the director, not John. C'mon John, tell her how big the Starlings go ... was the quote. The sad part is that everything for awhile be referred to as Going Big ... what a hoot. We don't really go big - we just "go". Since the Sweany/Ernst group doesn't go big at anything ... the opposite would be for the Starling group to do that. Interesting for ratings. Laura did not care for Justin and his love for sports either - so he was constantly attacked for having a goal that involved motocross. She spent every minute of every day attempting to destroy his dreams. She never was aware that her kids had dreams too. She just doesn't care. Justin finally had had enough too. I'm glad to see he stood up for himself and isn't going to end up being a "Carol" --- just living life the way someone else thinks he should.
By the way, if you're thinking John is an over the top mini-dad ... well, you couldn't be more wrong. We get mad at Justin - never about riding, but sometimes about attitude. That's about it. He's just a great kid.
As for me ... I had a blast. There was no yelling or screaming - just a lot of fun. You had to laugh at singing to animals and trees and dancing in the garden. I was only concerned about what the neighbors thought - but then again ... who cared. The motocross was my idea. At one point Travis was coming to Seattle to teach the boys to ride, but I nixed that for several reasons. First was the boys have no idea who Travis is and this wasn't about Travis for ratings, it was about 3 kids that had no life. They did nothing except every chore in the house - everything most moms do. Their life was so boring and sad. I refused to give in to the director's ridiculous requests and demands. The moms set the tone for the show, not the dads. The moms job is to upset the household. I just refused to give in and still feel that the end can be achieved by compromise. It was successful on my end. I only wish that Laura would have been able to achieve the same result without her rantings and ravings which were endless according to the kids. Then again, what would have happened to the ratings. John actually had the entire film crew removed from the property at one point because he was tired of constantly being backed into a corner and he was tired of the constant emotional ambushing of Justin, Samantha and himself. Laura was even taken to the airport early, a day prior to the close of the shoot. However, the fnal day was done - in peace and quiet. Sam said that Laura used the "f" word constantly at all three of them, John used it twice and I think both times made it on the air.
Anyhow, it's done ... it was an adventure and we have no regrets.
Now to help clear up other rumours ...
FYI - the new motorhome in the garage isn't new - it's 6 years old - almost 7. We love it, it's functional ... and paid for. The funmover is mine - because I wanted to use it for local stuff - but we have been leasing it out for the last couple of years at some of the nationals and if you want it - it's for sale.
FYI - Yes, John still rides - and has fun. The track in the back was built for him - not Justin. It's just been adapted for Justin.
FYI - Laura studied acting and has been an actress for most of her life. Not a secret. It's something Carol is very proud of.
FYI - both parents have been working on anger issues. Carol is doing fine.
FYI - Laura called me a "G.. D.. M...F.." at the table meeting over Sterling getting his own room. That was a first for me. No, it didn't make the air.
FYI - one of the reasons John was emotional was that he honestly felt I was being treated by Laura's husband the same way he was being treated by Laura. It wasn't the case and if it had, I would have left.
FYI - the directors asked me to include turning the garden into a motocross track. I refused. Then they wanted a motocrosser to come in and do a demonstration in the back yard and "rip up" the garden as a result. I stopped filming in Seattle at that point and explained that I would not sacrifice my credibility in motocross for ABC's ratings and was leaving the show at that point. I explained that motocrossers don't do things like that. They gave in.
FYI - the flies were real. Very real
FYI - I believe in education first - Samantha will graduate this year at the age of 15 and will spend a few weeks this summer in Japan studying. Justin will graduate when he's 16, still ahead of the game. Both kids are tested by the state every year and have never fallen below 96%, something I'm really proud of. Homeschooling is a tough gig and not for everyone.
FYI - Samantha's T-shirts have arrived and are available online for purchase. They are incredible. Her Action Clothing logo is a piece of art. She's working on that website too (she already does Justin's) ...
www.actionclothingco.com. I won't be surprised if you see a Go Big clothing line out of her too!
We're a normal family, doing normal things, that ended up doing a television show ... and that's about it. So, with that in mind ... I'll close with ...
I found the script to our show hidden under some jackets while I was in Seattle ... everything, right down to the controversy that happened now and then, was planned --- right down to the hour, and what was suppose to happen.
Was I mad? No. Disappointed? No. Did I figure it out pretty early on ... yep. So, there you go ... reality tv - at it's best!
Stephanie Starling
